Where the wealthy go to play
First of all, thanks and appreciation to Shadox for putting on a very cool contest. The contest was simply a solicitation for good career advice in ten words or less, and the winner of a random drawing ended up with a cool $25 in cash. As it turned out, my number came up in the drawing. Imagine my delight when I came back from a weekend of hanging out in the Hamptons to find out that I was $25 richer myself. Thank you, Shadox!
About the Hamptons. You've seen it on TV: The massive, twenty-bedroom beachfront mansions that take a staff and a half to run, not to mention plenty of security from the paparazzi and fame-stalkers alike. You know what I'm talking about, right?
Well, I didn't stay there.
The house I stayed at wasn't a mansion, but rather your ordinary run-of-the-mill weekend house for a couple who are on the top of their game at their careers and with money to burn. I guessed the cost of the house at purchase at about a million flat. When I looked it up on zillow.com (because that's the kind of bad house guest I am), I was pleased to see that my guess was off by only 2%.
In that part of the Hamptons, a millionish will get you a large, rambling establishment in the woods on a relatively small lot with an in-ground pool. My hosts sold a smaller house that they owned free and clear nearby to buy this one, so although they took out a mortgage, it's not a big one relative to their income. They are also very close to owning their primary residence in the city free and clear.
I wondered if the house creates more stress than the relaxation it's supposed to bring simply because maintenance takes work. As it turned out, I learned over the course of the weekend that the owners simply outsource everything: pool maintenance, yard maintenance (except for hobby planting), cleaning, painting, the works. As a result, the owners can spend their time doing the things they like best: cooking, shopping, watching TV, and just relaxing. They also own the absolute best of everything. Kitchen appliances, pots and pans, furniture, wineglasses, decorations (restrained but elegant), and everything else are all top of the line.
My hosts are gracious, gentle, generous people. It's a nice life they have on the weekends, and I can see the attraction. The built-in costs of having a weekend life like that are daunting, though. First of all, Manhattan residents who own a Hamptons house of necessity own a car. I hate driving in the first place, but between gas, parking, and insurance, the costs of car ownership in Manhattan are very high. That in itself is a barrier to having a second home.
Second, there's a premium to spending time in an area where everyone's expected to have money: when we were out to lunch in one of the local towns on Saturday, I visibly blanched upon finding out that a plain, ordinary sandwich cost $15. My host simply laughed and said You're in the Hamptons now! That's one of the other hidden costs of owning a home out there, and it's one that adds up over time.
Finally, outsourcing chores is wonderful, but it gets expensive. If I'm spending my weekends at a house where I'm already paying to outsource maintenance, nobody's staying back home to iron my shirts unless I outsource that too. Outsourcing then becomes a double whammy. All in all, if I had a second home out there myself at this stage in my life, I wouldn't be living true to my principles on money or even acting my wage.
The barriers to entry haven't stopped me from looking at house porn ever since I've been back, though. One day, I do want to own a second property - but I'm not there yet. In the meantime, here's hoping that working hard to be a good guest (not to mention the $80 bottle of champagne I gave as a housewarming gift) will score me another invitation or ten.
What's your experience with second homes, either your own or someone else's?
PS: While I was gone, my new toilet was installed. Since returning, I've been able to, um, test it thoroughly, and I must say: this one is a winner. Two thumbs up for the Toto Drake.
13 retorts:
I learnt something, I didn't know that there was anywhere in the US that was more expensive than Manhattan, though clearly the property isn't. Second homes do always sound like a big hassle. With all that and the cost of buying, it seems to me to make more sense to just stay at a hotel. I do know one or two people with second homes, but I've never stayed at one.
We used to own a park model trailer for our second home. It was a weekend retreat in a Mountain Resort area (Mt Baker). We enjoyed it. Had all the modern conveniences except phones. Great BBQ food, campfires, swimming pools, hot tubs, hikes, and maybe too much beer. All for about $40,000
But you're right, there are 2 households to run. It gets to you after a few years, so we sold. But no regrets. I recommend the economy version.
testing your new toilet, huh? with stray neighbourhood moggies? :)
Wow, I'm almost 40 and still trying to figure out how to buy a first home...a second would be completely overwhelming. :(
Kudos on getting a Toto Toilet, we LOVE ours! Great quality, well worth the cost.
I would love to own a small piece of property in the country some day perhaps with a small cottage and a large garden. We're currently working hard to pay off our current home and are within a few years of doing that. As long as we're super financially secure by the time we're 35 I don't really care too much what I own.
On having a second home, don't think I'd ever want to. Our neighbors house is a weekend getaway (we live in a small lake community in which many of the homes are weekend getaways). I don't think I'd want the hassle of owning a second home just for "fun". Unless you hire someone to do all the work I think it would anything but relaxing!
I do not own a second home, and do not think I would care much for one - I honestly think it's nicer to travel, and travel with some luxuries. I have become really partial to first-class train travel as a fairly green and not excessively expensive luxury. Good hotels are another one.
However, I do have some experience on how it is when you live in a postal code where you are expected to be rich. I once lived in Killiney, literally just down the road from Bono (of U2 fame) and Enya. Mine was a house-sitting situation where I got lodgings cheaply for caretaking and maintenance. I was at the absolute rock bottom of my difficult financial situation post PhD and in the middle of my medical treatments, and to this day I remain grateful for this opportunity. Arguably, I might not be out of my financial hole, and a homeowner today, without it.
However, whenever I gave my address as "Killiney Hill Road" on the phone, everyone assumed I had lots of money! It was difficult to convince people otherwise. But from how you describe your hosts, it appear that showing affluence is at least part of the enjoyment of their home for them. Please be good, so that you get invited back, and we can get more reports on how the other 10% live!
First of all - you are very welcome!
Second - I too recently got to stay at a friend's weekend cabin (house) in the mountains. It was a great, low cost weekend. However, spending a million bucks on a home you use only 8 days a month seems a bit crazy to me. For that money you could go to a different bed and breakfast every weekend and still come out ahead.
Not for me this lifestyle of the rich and famous. I would be too bust counting the wasted money.
As a long time, yearly resident and home owner in the Hamptons, I can see already that you have gotten sucked into the nonsense. I lived in the Hamptons for 16 years. I raised 2 daughters there. My husband and I had fantastic jobs. Most of the time we spent laughing at the ridiculous things those 'millionaires' used to do.
For example, I had a next door neighbor buy the available land next to me and he built this magnificent home. He used it once a year. He liked spending Thanksgiving there.
It wasn't unusual to go out to lunch and have it cost $90 per person. LUNCH!
I also, have always owned 2 homes. One at the beach and another in the mountains. I used to live all year long in the Hamptons and had a weekend place in the Catskills. Now, I live in the Catskills all year long and own a beach house in Newport, RI.
I wouldn't be caught dead in the Hamptons. It's a horrible, horrible place. The people are pompous and mean and preposterous.
I see already you probably overspent and bought an $80 bottle of wine just to get invited back. See how compelling and luring the place is? It sucks you in to an abnormal world. By 2001 I had had enough of the place after 16 years and got out.
My advice: RUN in the opposite direction. The Hamptons is the land of make believe. Everyone is over leveraged, in debt, lease cars and try desperately to make you believe they are rich and famous. Trust me....they're not.
It's all a game of smoke and mirrors. It will only make you sad, jealous and force you to heavily overspend.
R U N !!!!!!!
hi fz! for some reason i've had a hard time getting my comments to post to your blog. so maybe this time it will work ;)
i don't understand the whole 'second home ' thing. i mean, if one has got pots and pots of money, why wouldn't you just spend it staying at the local 5-star hotel and opting for the occasional week in paris instead of the hamptons? i feel like buying a second home is buying another set of surfaces to dust, landscapers to hire, dishes to clean up, property taxes to sort out, maids to order around, etc. it would be cheaper and more relaxing to just spend a sick amount on a weekend holiday every single weekend. and then when one grew tired of the hamptons, they could go to the vineyard instead for an enriching change of culture and scenery. lol! I'm not bitter; i promise. i just don't get second homes.
okay, and i'm kind of a pinko, and my ex-roommate had this really cute bumper sticker that read: "Houses: everyone gets one before anyone can have two." hee hee!
Moom - I was expecting the cost of living to be expensive out there, but I was a little unprepared for how extortionate it was. On the whole, however, property prices are less than I expected. I think home values have been hit particularly hard by the economic decline, probably because so many of the homes in that area are vacation homes.
Gord - Thanks for sharing your experience. The running two households part is definitely a deterrent.
Penny - No, strays are too hard to catch. I used my neighbor's.
KIDDING!!! I could never hurt a cat.
Anon - If you're feeling brave, I'd be glad to post your budget (no identifying information, of course) and give you some feedback on how you might tweak it to get to home ownership. I'm sure many of the regular visitors here would take the opportunity to give some helpful input as well. Don't do it if you get the vapors easily, though. The internets can be a harsh place.
Chiot's Run - The Toto rocks! I think you hit the nail on the head with regards to second home ownership: it's not relaxing if it creates work (unless it's the kind of work that you find relaxing in and of itself). That would definitely be a factor.
Goldsmith - A very interesting story!!! It's a good object lesson in the kind of markers people look for in forming a first impression. I'm glad that caretaking proved to be so beneficial for you.
Shadox - One reason why these guys upgraded their house is that they're planning to retire there. From that perspective, perhaps the investment makes more sense. I don't think a million dollar vacation house is an appropriate decision for me (not now and perhaps not ever), but if they can afford it and it makes them happy, I can't really see it as a waste. To each his own.
Morrison - I don't agree with your assessment of my experience, thought process, or motivations, but thanks for sharing your input.
Neimanmarxist - Where have you been, and what happened to your blog? I was looking for you just last night and everything had gone poof. I'm so glad you posted. Regarding the whys of owning a second home, I can only reiterate what I said to Shadox above: To each his or her own. I wrote a little bit about why it's something that interests me in today's post.
How should I send you my budget? Email, the best? I'm brave, realistic and thick-skinned. :)
Thanks!!
Yup, email would be great. If you can disclose your assets, liabilities, occupation, and cash flow, that'll help with painting the full picture. I'm at frugal (dot) zeitgeist (at) gmail (dot) com. Looking forward to it!
Okay, will do!
Thanks again. :)
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