Poor widdle me
Commenter goldsmith came up with such an interesting question in the comments on my last post that I decided to bump my planned topic and feature it instead. Here's what he asked:
Anyone else here who is as annoyed as I am about the way people in supersafe jobs - such as tenured public sector jobs - have started to play "noveau pauvre", and trying to elicit sympathy for how they have to save all of a sudden?
This has become the habit of bosswoman A and bosswoman B during coffee breaks (one with a 140k annual income, and the other with 200k, and each with a pension and a paid-off house), and it annoys the hell out of me. I mean, there are people in deep trouble all around, whether unwise financial decisions contributed to their woes or not, and I find this so tasteless. Anyone else who observed this?
I haven't seen this in the course of this recession, to be honest, probably because most people I know (including a few in public service!) are genuinely at risk for and worried about the chopping block. It does remind me of sophomore year in college, though: There were a few middle class kids like myself, students at a rich kids' college, so the extortionate tuition was a pretty common topic around the time that payments were due. I never had much to say: my parents covered what scholarships didn't, and I worked on campus to pay for my books and personal expenses. It wasn't a glamorous life, but I wasn't racking up any student debt (and for that, I'll be forever and ever grateful to my parents).
One freshman in the same dorm happened upon one of these conversations one day and loudly echoed the same concerns about how much tuition cost and how worried she was about whether she could afford school.
We all looked at each other. Everyone was thinking the same thing, but no one wanted to say it.
But Christy, I finally said. You don't pay tuition. Your mom works for the school, so your tuition is waived.
I don't remember what happened after that other than Christy sputtering and probably hating me for life. I know it was mean to call her out for being a blowhard and a liar, but the poor-widdle-me attitude annoyed me, probably in a way that's similar to how goldsmith is annoyed by the noveau pauvre blowhards in his office.
Have you seen anything like this in your own life lately?
10 retorts:
I haven't seen anything like that either, but I will say that even though I make very decent money, like most these days I am worried about losing my job - I work for a start-up and it's not inconceivable (though unlikely) that our investors could turn of the spigots. I say: don't begrudge worried people a little bit of a verbal outlet.
My goodness yes! Especially people with two incomes!
I see it a lot. Because my job is not only safe but as an agency that serves the poor, we're getting more money these days, I try very hard NOT to bemoan my finances in public. Of course, on my blog, I bemoan them a lot! But that's due to my prior spending habits and impending retirement within the next ten years, NOT my income. I do get irritated when I see my supervisors, who make more than me, and usually have income-producing spouses as well, wailing about financial matters.
Shadox, just to clarify: I would never begrudge worried people their outlet, and I appreciate your situation in a startup and FZ's in the private sector. But Irish Civil Service jobs are virtually bomb-proof (in a way that US Federal Civil Service jobs stopped to be under Clinton, when job tenure was abolished), and Bosswoman B could retire tomorrow on a full pension if she so chose, since she has enough years of service. There is nothing short of dousing a heap of cash with petrol and putting a match to it, that could financially endanger this woman. And in those circumstances, I do find her nouveau pauvre natter tactless.
I'm digging the phrase "nouveau pauvre"! I work with a bunch of stuffed shirt programmers who eat out daily (which gives me an idea about the rest of their habits), mostly don't have kids and DO have working spouses, have a shoddy (at best) work ethic, and continually bitch and moan about their accounts losing value. I often wish on them real affliction, so that they could learn a little perspective. But I'm mean that way.
supersafe jobs - such as tenured public sector jobs !?! As a second grade teacher ,who was forced to say goodbye to 15 staff members, you must not be referring to public elem/middle/or high schools. College is a whole nother story.
Well, not exactly, however I do have a funny story...
My boss complained to me about the costs associated with buying a house and considering he spent quite a bit of coin on the house AND I cannot afford a house, I told him to stop talking to me unless he had a "real" problem. I mean, he's a multi-millionaire...it isn't a difficult life he leads.
Great question. :)
Shadox - indeed I don't either; I think the point goldsmith was making was that some of the loudest yelling seems to come from some of the people least affected. YMMV, of course.
Money Dieter - do tell! I'd love to hear more.
Grace - I haven't really seen that, but I can see where it would get under your skin after a while. I am very careful not to engage in complaining about my finances in public (or even on my blog, for the most part), because I'm doing just fine for now.
goldsmith - thanks for the clarification. Ironic that such safety in employment still exists when Ireland's unemployment rate in the private sector is skyrocketing. I think it makes the behavior you describe even less appropriate.
MtnMama - Who knows, maybe those selfsame people are in debt up to their eyeballs with credit cards. I think The Millionaire Next Door called that phenomenon "big hat, no cattle."
Jennifer - goldsmith lives in Ireland, and I think the situation is a bit different than here. (I'm assuming you're American.) I'm very sorry indeed to see the schools taking such a beating. Very unfair to the kidlets, and very short-sighted for our society as a whole.
Anon - HA! Good on you for calling him on his crap.
I think some of it comes from complete ignorance of how less fortunate people live. It is a hassle to give up your daily cup of Starbucks and make the coffee at home. Certainly not being able to go to the mall every weekend or out to dinner a few times a week is a new hardship for some people, as is giving up their cable TV.
But if you're a person who has been living on the edge anyway, prices going up or hours cut is a whole different ball game. You wonder if you can take showers every-other-day to save on water. Instead of taking the bus, you now walk a mile to and from the grocery with a couple of kids in tow. That little bit of money was the margin you had in better times, and it isn't there anymore.
When you come in to work after a weekend of making do and saying to yourself that it doesn't matter if your kids are running around barefoot because it's summer and they'll need new shoes for school more than now, you get a little miffed at hearing how your much more highly paid bosses had to wait for a sale to get yet another pair of useless high heels.
Yeah, I know, they're hurting too. But they're mourning their luxuries while others are wondering if they ate half as much, would the food stretch until payday so the kids don't go without.
The difference is how far down you were when you started cutting back.
That makes me boiling mad
Esp that convo you had with Christy. What a f*cking COW. LIAR.. arg.. I hate it when people pretend (in her case) to have to pay when they don't. Just be straight with me!
As for nouveau pauvres, they just want to get in on the whine fest without feeling the pain.
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