Let's talk about someone else's life for a change
A reader named Emma found this blog a while ago, and it sounded like she had an interesting story to tell. She used to be a latte-slugging recreational shopper, but the convergence of a variety of factors led her and her husband to rethink their spending and make some changes in their lives. I asked Emma if she would be willing to let me interview her, and she agreed. Here's her story:
You have made some major changes in your life by giving up Starbucks, lunches out, pedicures, and recreational shopping to embrace frugal living. What triggered the change?
This change was triggered for several reasons. First, the economy in my area began to deteriorate in early 2008. My workplace began to assist local unemployment agencies and re-careering programs to provide services to displaced workers. I began to realize just how lucky I really was. Second, frugality became popular and 'cool' again with the media, and I really took note. I would imagine this was due to rising gas and grocery prices and the housing crisis. I read online news several times a day and began to develop a real interest in 'trimming the fat' and scaling down. I think the biggest reason, however, was that I needed to grow up and be more responsible. I was being very selfish and immature with all this extra spending. I was not doing the right thing for myself and my husband. The more I scaled back, the more grateful I became. I felt more grounded and much happier. Shopping is no longer a hobby or a way to pass the time. I stay out of the mall and only buy something if I know I need it and have shopped around. I go home on lunch most days and drink office coffee. I buy store brands. As a result, there is extra in the bank each month. We no longer use charge cards.
Do you think your upbringing had anything to do with either your former way of life or your new one? Why or why not?
Yes, I think my upbringing affected me. My family was always frugal (no fancy potato chips, for example. I still feel giddy when I bring home a bag of cheddar-and-sour-cream Lay's or fancy cookies). We were careful with the A/C and ate lots of leftovers. Shopping for school clothes was a celebration. As an adult, I understand how careful my mother had to be to take care of her kids on a tight income. This has made the two of us much closer.
You have a husband and no children so far. How willingly has your husband embraced your new way of life? Are there any areas where you and he are not yet on the same page?
My husband is delighted. We are, I think, the happiest we have ever been.
What do your friends and extended family think of the change in your lifestyle?
My family is thrilled that I have finally 'seen the light.' I am now trying to convert my work friends to my new lifestyle. I send them articles and talk about my little 'journey' relentlessly. They soak it up!
You mentioned having debt. What kind of debt is it, and what does your repayment plan look like?
We have both student loans and some credit card debt. We are putting a significant portion of each month's income toward paying off our debt. We are making real headway.
What are your short term and longer term financial goals?
Short-term, we want to pay off the credit cards and open an IRA together. Long-term, we want to buy a house and pay off our student loans.
What do you like best and least about your new lifestyle?
I like the simplicity. I drink my office coffee, go home for lunch, and check out books from the library. I give myself pedicures. I play around in my closet to come up with new combinations, instead of going to the mall because I am bored with my clothes. I no longer visit Starbucks in the morning and wait in line, which makes me late for work, go out to a lunch that ends up being disgusting and fattening, buy a book at the bookstore and then a new top at the mall… my purchases are carefully thought out. I know that I am in control of my finances and my life and am working toward something meaningful.
What advice would you give someone who is contemplating scaling back his or her own lifestyle?
Mmmm, I don't know! :-) I'm such a newbie!
Newbie or not, Emma's made an enormous transition in a short amount of time, and it sounds like she wouldn't change a thing. What do you have to say about her decision to change? If you have any follow-up questions for Emma, I'll try to get some answers for you.
Feel free to share your own story in the comments, too.
6 retorts. What say you?
Interesting perspective. Thanks. :)
Mr Chiot's and I had to be frugal when we first got married because we didn't have any money (we both work in the non-profit religious sector). A few years later we started our own business which is now booming. We have much more cash but we still live by the frugal rules we had long ago.
I honestly don't understand how you can live the way Emma used to. It's amazing how much less stressful life is when you're making wise financial decisions.
I can certainly understand Emma's former cycle of spending. It's not like she was doing anything "extreme" by our society's standards; most of my co-workers buy coffee and lunch daily or spend money on stuff they could borrow for free like books (or do themselves like pedicures).
It's only when they start thinking critically about their behavior do they realize there's an alternative, like Emma did. Good for her!
Hi FZ,
Do you have a contingency plan in place for if you lose your job? Would you share? I just posted mine at my blog: Wonkess
anon - you are welcome (and thanks to Emma for playing!)
susy - I think in many cases, it's a situation of when you KNOW better, you DO better. Emma's parents modeled good spending habits, but sometimes that kind of learning only takes root through personal experience.
escape brooklyn - Yup, I think you're right that there has to be a certain amount of critical thinking and maturity involved to be motivated to change. Good for Emma indeed.
kady - Would you believe that after I saw your prior comment, I started thinking long and hard about that very same thing? If my job goes away, I will have enough money to live for a year without touching my investments. In that time, hopefully I can get another job. If I can't get a job in my profession, I'll join baristaville if I need to. The good thing about having paid off my home is that my cost of living, even in New York, is ridiculously low. Working at a coffee joint would not make me rich, but it would pay the bills until I found something better.
I hope things work out well for you and yours, I really do.
Wow, can I relate! I used to be a recreational shopper, too. Never paid attention to my spending until the credit card bill came, at which point it was too late. Then I'd do it all again the next month.
My husband and I buckled down and paid off all of our credit card debt this year. We are finishing up the car loan in December, and we have a decent emergency fund started. I wouldn't trade our life now to go back to my old ways. We have security, we're saving for a home, retirement, and travel. I downsized my wardrobe, but I dress better now and take less time to get ready. I research our purchases now, and I feel great about the changes we've made.
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