The airing of grievances
Okay, I admit it: I'm struggling a little bit at the moment. I'm fighting off two demons, Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee and I-don't-wanna, and it's all got me a little bit tired.
I walk up either Fifth Avenue or Madison Avenue in the evenings a couple of nights a week, and I've been feeling really pleased with myself that despite the decked-out window displays, I haven't been tempted by anything in the last few months. I thought that holiday madness would trigger Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee so I was feeling pretty smug that that hadn't happened, although I think wading through the sheer fricken' number of tourists has dampened any urge to spend. Unfortunately, Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee has been sniping at me when and where I least expect it, and I'm not exactly prepared. Case in point: I ran thirteen miles with a friend on Saturday. After we got back to my place and cleaned up a little, she got ready to head off and get on with her day. As she was leaving, she mentioned that she was going to have a cup of gourmet hot chocolate on the way home.
Whang!
Suddenly, I wanted gourmet hot chocolate and I wanted it badly. Having PMS and the sugar cravings that go with it only aggravated the problem. I finally resorted into rummaging into my cupboard until I found an old tin of Ghirardelli white chocolate cocoa powder that I don't like all that much. (I really don't want to think about how long it's been in there; I think it might actually date back to when I was married.) I also dug out an old tin of unsweetened Hershey's cocoa powder of a similar vintage. They both looked and smelled fine and a taste test from a little on the top of my finger didn't make me sick, so I put on the kettle and dumped some of each into a cup with some real vanilla.
I wouldn't call the end product gourmet hot chocolate, but it made Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee back off for the moment. It's been attacking me in the weirdest moments for the oddest things in the last week, though. Although I'm trying to appease it by substituting something free or nearly free and rationalizing why I don't need to spend money on whatever I want at the moment, it's been tough.
I could deal with the Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee on its own, but it's also been accompanied by a fair amount of I-don't-wanna. I set aside a few hours to work on Sunday but when it came time to do it, I wanted to throw my laptop on the floor and jump on it instead. I ended up not working over the weekend, and this week I'm totally snowed under. It's not only work, too. Christmas cards to my former host family in Japan? I-don't-wanna. Go to the gym? I-don't-wanna. Go running? I-don't-wanna. All I want to do is see my friends, sit on the sofa and read, and drink my cheap-ass version of gourmet hot chocolate (Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee). The exercise I-don't-wanna is particularly problematic because over the past month-plus, I've been putting down the base work to start a marathon training cycle this coming weekend and there's not a lot of room to negotiate.
I'm fighting I-don't-wanna by giving in on some things (e.g. not working on the weekend and doing only the bare minimum in the gym workouts), and getting a little backup on the others (putting the Christmas cards out RIGHT THERE on the countertop to remind me to do them, and recruiting friends to put in mileage with me). Overall, though, I'm really getting tired of fighting Gimmee-gimmee-gimmee and I-don't-wanna. It's draining.
I'm taking a complete vacation from work for the last couple of weeks in the year, and I hope that helps. I'm taking other coping suggestions if you've got them.
Anyone else have the frugal holiday blahs?
10 retorts. What say you?
Yeah, I've been having a lot of gimmies and I don't wannas too. I think part of it may be because it just feels like time for a break. I always had break around this time in college. And society's kind of marketing a break too--we're supposed to feel happy right now, not work or live frugally.
Yep. I have the gimmies and I don't wannas. But the gimmies are winning out right now. I just went shopping for some new clothes because I had a coupon, but I was able to shrug off a trip to the UK for New Year's Eve, partly because of the money, and partly because I didn't want to deal with a rush on renewing my passport.
Yes! Example:
In our family we draw names. This way you're responsible for one "big" gift. This year I got my cousin's name. She's a first year law student; love her, but I couldn't stand purchasing anything on her list for my own selfish reasons. Why? Too preppy, too commercial, too bullshit-y! I didn't want MY money going to any of her desired gifts.
But I reminded myself of the holiday season (blah, blah) and just held my nose as I purchased an overpriced sweater made by enslaved children. (As you recall, most of my clothes are good-quality second hand!) Funny how my perspective on what and where to spend has changed...probably for the better.
yes, and i have to say poverty is a great deterrent. okay, not real poverty, but i am broker than usual this time of year. b/c i used to work in restaurants/bars, the november & december i was flush. oh well.
but WTF, you can run for 13 miles?!? i don't think i could walk for 13 miles...
I deal with the don't-wannas and the gimmes by thinking about my big picture and my goal. My goal is to save up enough money to go back to Italy this year. And my other goal is to keep maintaining my 2 houses-one at a ski resort and the other one on the beach.
If these thoughts don't keep me on target, then nothing will.
Also, my other goal is to save enough money for when I am older, so I can live with dignity. My MIL is 79 years old and deeply in credit card debt to make ends meet. It's disgusting and pathetic. That realization keeps me from overspending immediately!
Think of your goals, the long and short of it, and that gourmet hot chocolate sounds like a joke, if you know what I mean. Stop spending, keep saving and one day you will be in a lodge on the Swiss Alps drinking the real thing! And where will your friend be? See what I mean?
You're doing fine.
Just my 2 cents.
Oh yeah. I hate doing holiday shopping, as I always end up seeing things I want for myself but feeling stumped about what to buy for others. And I bought a gift for a friend, something she really needs, but she keeps mentioning that she's been shopping for this thing for herself, and I keep trying to subtly talk her out of buying it so I won't have to go back to the drawing board for a present for her! Really I'd rather just hibernate for all of December.
But good for you with your homemade cocoa and the marathon! We should organize a group of NYC PF bloggers to stand along the race somewhere and wave money when you run by...
Thanks, everyone - it helps to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this at the moment.
I'm all about people waving money at me during marathons. Anyone want to do a road trip to Boston in April?
I'm currently obsessed with this Mexican spiced hot cocoa from Empire Coffee & Tea near my work. Fortunately it's only $2 for a small or $2.25 for a medium, plus they don't charge extra for soy. Last time I went they had free cookies out, too - whole cookies, not just bits and pieces! I'm treating myself once a week because it's the perfect time of year for it, but now I find myself craving it EVERY DAY.
But it certainly forces me to keep going to the gym!
You'll feel better/more motivated after you recharge your batteries on your time off. And you're running the Boston marathon? That's awesome!
I know what you mean FZ. I used to be too hard on myself. But now that I have a growing 401k and net worth. I have eased up a little. I think I can enjoy a small treat every so often.
:-)
escape brooklyn - I remember reading about that wonderful cocoa on your blog. Sounds fantastic!
Yep, Boston Marathon. The hard part was qualifying; this one is just for fun.
cblogger - That reminds me of a saying: Keep your perspectives in perspective. A treat sounds quite nice.
Post a Comment